Hospitality Corner: Talk with your fellow congregants/greet them
Posted on August 5, 2009 · 2 Comments
Abraham offers hospitality to angels
Earlier this year, the bulletin for our weekly morning worship gathering contained a series of “Hospitality Corner” passages to highlight ways to assist our neighbors and fellow congregants in feeling at home with our church. Over the next few weeks, this blog will contain a few of these items “re-printed” with new questions, thoughts and ideas on how we can improve our hospitality to both our guests and our long-time members.
This series was not intended simply as a way for our church to strengthen our embrace of new guests. While this is important, it is not enough. We have to find ways to show love to one another. Too often mainline congregations do not know their neighbors nor do they know those next to them in their pews. Since becoming a Deacon, I have learned of numerous members of our congregation that do not feel connected to others in the congregation. We need to find ways to fix this. We need to embrace and love everyone.
One way we can do this is to make sure we greet fellow congregants prior to our worship gatherings. Every month, up to six individuals volunteer to be “greeters” and welcome those that walk through our door. They hand out bulletins, meet people in the parking lots, and help people find their name tags.
However, we need the entire community to welcome each other and greet those be seated near us in the same pew. If we just rely on greeters, there will be folks that depart worship without personal interaction or connection. In addition, it may be the case that it will be seen as the greeters’ job. If you do it informally, however, it could brighten their day and show the love and hospitality of our church. It also allows us to meet new people and strengthen our bonds to those we already know. And it fulfills what we were asked to do in the Bible: Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. – Hebrews 13:2.
There are many ways that we can greet our fellow congregants and then go past it with vibrant conversations and therefore strengthen our community. Here are a few ideas to start some conversations before you begin your preparation for worship:
- Suggest they grab coffee – Studies show that having hot liquids in your hand make you more open and more apt to connect with others. Coffee and tea are available near the name tag table. This suggestion and power of hot liquid could be the perfect segment to a successful welcoming conversation.
- Walk someone to the room they are looking for – While we have signs around the building, the easiest way to find something the first time is to be shown it. If it appears that a new family with a young child is here for the first time, walk them to the nursery. If someone is searching for a bathroom, don’t just point, walk them to the hallway. The longer you spend with someone, the more hospitality and love you show them and it’s a perfect excuse to continue a conversation and move past general pleasantries.
- Walk with someone from the parking lot to the building – Again, having time to talk is vital to having a real opportunity to connect. Walking with someone after parking your cars is a natural time to have a real communication – it seems less forced as you are both heading in the same direction. You simply have to ask a few questions and listen to their answers. It can be a great time to get to know your fellow congregant in a less stressful environment.
What other ideas do you have for conversation starters? What ways do you make connections feel natural? How do you best approach someone the first time?
Tim and all,
Reading this I am struck with a correlation with the restaurant industry. I spent 8 years in a very successful thriving restaurant in DC. When a new employee would be assigned to me for training it was my job to instill similar ideas to prepare them for success. Understand your role as host, provide the guest with whatever they need to ensure a fullfilling visit, and try to connect on a level that doesn’t seem fake but genuine. Their comfort and their experience are important to you and it’s your job to convey that.
However there is one important key that I would spend a great deal of time on. Reading the guest and adjusting your approach with each individual. Everyone is there for various reasons. Some want to be led on this grand experience while others want to be given the menu(bulletin) and left to there own accord wanting you available for questions if needed. As long as they know you are there they are happy. I have found it equally important to pay close attention to this detail.
I think Tim’s post is full of excellent ideas and am excited that we are being pro-active with our hospitality. Just wanted to bring up another side not mentioned.
Chris, great point. One I would completely endorse – no one should hover. You should show folks love. So if our guest indicates they want space, they should get it. If a long time member doesn’t like hugging, don’t do it (just let me know…
). Over greeting or over hovering can be just as bad as too little.
I would, say, from my experience visiting many churches – if you want space, you will get it from churches. At FPC, from watching in back many Sundays over the last 18 months, if you just want to be left alone, once you’ve been greeted, you’ll have plenty of alone time.
So, while I agree in the abstract that, just like a waiter that checks every 15 seconds if you are doing ok, we need to be conscious of not doing too much, I am much more concerned about getting connections with folks. You are right that folks will indicate they want to be left alone and that’s then important to follow. But, at this time, unless you get that sign, we are in much more danger of never letting people know that we are around and there for them as opposed to checking in too often.