Hospitality Corner: Talk with folks after worship
This series was not intended simply as a way for our church to strengthen our embrace of new guests. While this is important, it is not enough. We have to find ways to show love to one another. Too often mainline congregations do not know their neighbors nor do they know those next to them in their pews. Since becoming a Deacon, I have learned of numerous members of our congregation that do not feel connected to others in the congregation. We need to find ways to fix this. We need to embrace and love everyone.
One way to do this is to make sure that we greet guests and long-time congregants in the crucial ten-minute window around the worship gathering. And according to Charles Arn, president of Church Growth, Inc. it is not the ten minutes that you may expect…
We also asked the focus groups when they decided that the church was friendly or not. From the answers we got, there’s a ten-minute window that is pregnant with opportunities for a church to make a good impression. And it wasn’t the ten minutes I expected.
I thought they would say it was right after they got out of the car and walked into the building, but more than any other time, folks said, “I decided this was a friendly church in the ten minutes following the conclusion of the service.” Many feel that that is the first time people are free to be themselves.
Up until that point, you go through the routine and enter the sanctuary and follow the directions. But when the last song is sung and the last prayer is prayed, then it’s a free-for-all, and in the minds of the visitors, they’re asking, “Will these people really go out of their way to welcome newcomers like me?”
Mr. Arn’s comments suggest we need to reconsider how to be more hospitable to our guests and our fellow congregants. We often spend time after worship waiting to speak to our pastor. Or we immediately begin to take care of some church business. We often assume, I know I do, that we have already greeted our guests and those that we don’t really know. But this time after worship is when the friendless, those grieving, or those that want to talk about their joy are most likely to open up. It is the most important time for us to connect with our fellow congregants.
Here are some ideas on how to do this:
- Turn to others waiting to speak to our pastor and ask them about their week
- Invite each other to join in conversation and coffee during the fellowship time
- Talk to those that are by themselves and not talking to anyone else
- Invite congregants to lunch after worship
What else should we be doing? We have a formal greeting program prior to our service; do we need one after as well? What might this look like? How else do you show hospitality in this time after worship?
Hospitality Corner: Take the lowest place
Earlier this year, the bulletin for our weekly morning worship gathering contained a series of “Hospitality Corner” passages to highlight ways to assist our neighbors and fellow congregants in feeling at home with our church. Over the next few weeks, this blog will contain a few of these items “re-printed” with new questions, thoughts and ideas on how we can improve our hospitality to both our guests and our long-time members.
This series was not intended simply as a way for our church to strengthen our embrace of new guests. While this is important, it is not enough. We have to find ways to show love to one another. Too often mainline congregations do not know their neighbors nor do they know those next to them in their pews. Since becoming a Deacon, I have learned of numerous members of our congregation that do not feel connected to others in the congregation. We need to find ways to fix this. We need to embrace and love everyone.
One way to do this is to follow the words of Jesus in Luke 14:1-14 and put ourselves in the lowest place. In this story from the gospel according to Luke, Jesus tells those gathered at a dinner party not to assume that they are the most honored guest as they had each done. Instead someone should always take the lowest place or in the case of a dinner party, the place at the table furthest from the host. Jesus says that someone who does this will be brought forward and exalted in their deserved place.
There are at least two ways that I can think of for many us to take the lowest place on Sunday mornings…
- Park further back – Every Sunday morning, our parking lot begins filling up closes to the building’s doors. This leaves some of those in attendance with less mobility walking further than those that simply arrived first. Likewise, those that are arriving closer to the beginning of worship often rush to get in the building. By purposefully parking in a less convenient spot, you can show true love and hospitality to those that need the spot more.
- Sit closer to the front – Guests of our church community often want to sit toward the back of our sanctuary so that they are less conspicuous. If able, we invite you to sit further forward in our sanctuary. This allows our guests to take the spaces they are most comfortable with and allows you, potentially, to be more engaged in the worship service.
Gathered for worship, most people in back
In both cases this would provide more space for those that need these spaces. It would be honoring the spirit of what Jesus asked us to do. We’d be taking the lowest place.
How else can we do this?
How else can we put ourselves in this lowest spot?
What other ways can we show love to our church?
Hospitality Corner: Talk with your fellow congregants/greet them
Abraham offers hospitality to angels
Earlier this year, the bulletin for our weekly morning worship gathering contained a series of “Hospitality Corner” passages to highlight ways to assist our neighbors and fellow congregants in feeling at home with our church. Over the next few weeks, this blog will contain a few of these items “re-printed” with new questions, thoughts and ideas on how we can improve our hospitality to both our guests and our long-time members.
This series was not intended simply as a way for our church to strengthen our embrace of new guests. While this is important, it is not enough. We have to find ways to show love to one another. Too often mainline congregations do not know their neighbors nor do they know those next to them in their pews. Since becoming a Deacon, I have learned of numerous members of our congregation that do not feel connected to others in the congregation. We need to find ways to fix this. We need to embrace and love everyone.
One way we can do this is to make sure we greet fellow congregants prior to our worship gatherings. Every month, up to six individuals volunteer to be “greeters” and welcome those that walk through our door. They hand out bulletins, meet people in the parking lots, and help people find their name tags.
However, we need the entire community to welcome each other and greet those be seated near us in the same pew. If we just rely on greeters, there will be folks that depart worship without personal interaction or connection. In addition, it may be the case that it will be seen as the greeters’ job. If you do it informally, however, it could brighten their day and show the love and hospitality of our church. It also allows us to meet new people and strengthen our bonds to those we already know. And it fulfills what we were asked to do in the Bible: Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. – Hebrews 13:2.
There are many ways that we can greet our fellow congregants and then go past it with vibrant conversations and therefore strengthen our community. Here are a few ideas to start some conversations before you begin your preparation for worship:
- Suggest they grab coffee – Studies show that having hot liquids in your hand make you more open and more apt to connect with others. Coffee and tea are available near the name tag table. This suggestion and power of hot liquid could be the perfect segment to a successful welcoming conversation.
- Walk someone to the room they are looking for – While we have signs around the building, the easiest way to find something the first time is to be shown it. If it appears that a new family with a young child is here for the first time, walk them to the nursery. If someone is searching for a bathroom, don’t just point, walk them to the hallway. The longer you spend with someone, the more hospitality and love you show them and it’s a perfect excuse to continue a conversation and move past general pleasantries.
- Walk with someone from the parking lot to the building – Again, having time to talk is vital to having a real opportunity to connect. Walking with someone after parking your cars is a natural time to have a real communication – it seems less forced as you are both heading in the same direction. You simply have to ask a few questions and listen to their answers. It can be a great time to get to know your fellow congregant in a less stressful environment.
What other ideas do you have for conversation starters? What ways do you make connections feel natural? How do you best approach someone the first time?
